TIME HEALS

by:  J.A. Moniz

 

It was a beautiful day.  The sun was shining and the sky was an amazing blue and there wasn’t a single cloud in sight.  It was the perfect day for a wedding.

 

Sam had gotten out of bed that day with equal parts nervousness and excitement.  Today was the day he was going to be married.  He and Donna would be together forever.

 

Pacing the backroom at the chapel his excitement gave way more and more to nervousness as the time of the ceremony approached and then went by.  Everything was perfect, the flowers the guests, everything had gone off without a hitch so far.  Well everything but once crucial thing.  It was now 15 minutes past the time set for the ceremony and the bride still hadn’t appeared nor had anyone heard from her.

 

Sam had taken to pacing the length of the room stopping at every other pass to look anxiously out the window.  Al was just hanging up the phone after trying to reach Donna in her hotel room when Sam’s mother, Thelma came bustling in.

 

“Sam, honey, what’s going on?  Everyone’s getting a little restless waiting.  Have you heard from Donna?”

 

Before Sam could answer Al did.  “I just tried her hotel room again and there’s no answer.  According to the front desk she hasn’t checked out so I don’t know.”

 

Sam had stopped yet again at the window and looked out hoping to see Donna coming.  Thelma came up behind him and began to rub his back.  “What do you want me to tell everyone, Honey?”

 

“She’ll be here, Mom.  She promised.”  He turned to face his mother his eyes begging her to tell him it would be all right.

 

Thelma didn’t know what to say to her son.  She was quickly losing faith that Donna was going to show up but she didn’t want to be the one to tell him and take away his faith.  Right now it looked like that was all that was holding him together.

 

“I’ll let everyone know that it’s going to be another little bit and that Donna just got delayed getting here.  It’s going to be ok, you’ll see,” she said reaching up to kiss her son on the cheek.

 

When Thelma turned around to leave the room she saw Sam’s sister, Katie, coming in.  “Sam, what’s going…,” Katie started to say before Thelma reached for her arm and pulled her from the room.

 

Sam had gone back to his pacing not even aware that his sister had been in the doorway or that his mother had left.  He was lost in his own world conjuring up every reason he could possibly think of to explain why Donna wasn’t there.  No matter what reasons he came up with, though, he kept circling back to the same one.  Donna wasn’t coming because she didn’t want to marry him.

 

“Where could she be, Al?  What could have happened?”  He was begging Al to give him a reason – a good reason why she hadn’t come.

 

“I don’t know, Sam.  I just don’t know.”

 

They waited in the backroom for another 15 minutes.  Sam hadn’t stopped his unceasing pacing and Al had sat quietly in a chair watching him.  They were now well past a ½ hour after the time the ceremony was supposed to begin and there still hadn’t been any word from Donna.  Finally, Al felt he had to speak up.

 

“Sam, maybe, maybe she’s not coming.  Maybe she changed her mind.”

 

Al’s words stopped Sam dead in his tracks.  It was as if he were in slow motion that he turned to face Al.  The look on his face was heartbreaking as Al voiced the thoughts he’d been having.  His voice was despondent as he whispered, “she promised, Al.  She promised.”

 

“I know, Kid, but sometimes…sometimes things happen and we can’t keep our promises.”  Al knew there was nothing anyone could say that would cure a broken heart and it was plain to see that that was what Sam was suffering from.  “Maybe I should let everyone know there’s not going to be a wedding today.  Let them know that they can go home.

 

Sam sank down into a chair numb but knowing that what Al had said was right.  “Yeah, can you let everyone know, Al.  I…I don’t think I can face anyone right now.  Tell them…tell them to go to the hall and eat.  No use letting all that food go to waste.”

 

“Sure, Sam.  I’ll be right back.”

 

“Al,” he called out as the older man started to walk through the doorway.

 

“Yeah, Sam?”

 

“Tell Mom and Katie to go to my house, not to wait for me.  Tell Mom…tell Mom not to worry, ok?”

 

“Sure thing, Kid.  You just hang on and I’ll be right back.”

 

Al made his way to the front of the chapel and quickly got everyone’s attention.  “Sorry folks, but it looks like there’s not going to be a wedding today.”  A murmur started to come from the guests and Al gestured for them to quiet down.  “Sam would like it if everyone went on to the hall anyway for dinner.  He doesn’t want the food to go to waste.  He sends his apologies for the inconvenience and thanks for your patience.”

 

As the guests began to file out of the chapel Al made his way over to Sam’s mother.

 

“Is Sam ok,” she asked him as soon as he was close.

 

Al wasn’t sure how to answer that.  Sam wasn’t really ok and he probably wouldn’t be for a while.  He’d just had his heart broken and Al was pretty sure he probably felt like the world was ending.  He couldn’t say that to Thelma, though.

 

“Sam will be fine,” he finally said.  “He’s strong, he’ll get through this.”

 

“I should go back there and be with him,” Thelma said while starting to walk around Al.

 

Al put out a hand to stop him saying, “No, Ma’am.  Sam asked that you not go back there.  He’d like you and Katie to go on ahead home and he’ll meet you there later.”

 

“He’s my son, Admiral, and I should be with him right now,” she argued.

 

“Yes, Ma’am, he is your son but right now I don’t think that he’s up to facing anyone.  He’ll feel a lot better if he knows you’ve gone on home.”

 

Since their first meeting Al knew that Thelma Beckett didn’t exactly approve of him or his friendship with her son.  She’d heard a bit of Al’s background from Sam and felt Al wasn’t the best person to be her son’s friend.

 

Al also knew that Sam’s relationship with his mother had become somewhat strained at one time.  He knew it had something to do with the death of John Beckett but Sam had never really talked about it and Al had never pushed him.

 

Regardless of what Thelma Beckett may have thought of him, Al always tried to treat her with the utmost of respect.  He found it slightly difficult to still maintain that level of respect while at the same time being forceful with her and honoring Sam’s request.

 

“I don’t care what Sam said, Admiral.  I’m going to go back there to be with him.  He must be terribly hurt right now and he shouldn’t be alone.”  There was no mistaking where Sam got a lot of his stubbornness from.

 

“Yes, Ma’am, Sam is hurting right now but he’s also embarrassed and, even if he doesn’t realize it yet, he’s also angry.  If you go back there right now he’s just going to try to hide all of that for your sake.  I think it would be best if you and Katie did as he asked.”

 

Katie reached out to rest her hand on her mother’s arm.  “Maybe Al’s right, Mom.  Sam probably needs some time alone.  Let’s just wait for him at his house.”

 

Thelma didn’t answer her daughter right away and instead stared silently into Al’s eyes.  Finally she did relent to go on ahead with Katie but not before exacting a promise from Al.  “You stay with him then, Admiral.  He may think he wants to be alone right now but that’s the worst thing for him.  You promise me you’re going to stay with him and bring him home.”

 

“I give you my word of honor, Ma’am.  I’ll stay with Sam until he’s safe at home.”

 

Appeased, if not comforted by Al’s promise, Thelma let Katie lead her away and out to the waiting car.

 

Al breathed a sigh of relief as he watched them walk away up the aisle.  He wouldn’t have relished the thought of having an argument with Thelma Beckett.  She was a stubborn as her son was and Al got the feeling she’d be twice as hard to win an argument with.

 

Al took another deep breath and turned to go back to the room where Sam was waiting.  He knew he had another argument ahead of him trying to convince Sam to leave the chapel and go home.

 

The white dress was bunched up on the bed where Donna had thrown it when she took it off.  She looked at the clock and saw that it was going on to 3:30.  She should have been at Old Mission Chapel nearly an hour ago.  She should have been Mrs. Sam Beckett by now.  She’d been all set to walk out of her room and go down to meet the car when she realized she couldn’t do it.  She couldn’t get married.

 

Instead she’d called down to the front desk and asked them to tell the car to leave – that it wouldn’t be needed.  She also instructed the front desk that if anyone called the hotel looking for her that they were to say nothing.

 

She stripped out of the wedding dress and threw it onto the bed re-dressing in a pair of jeans and t-shirt.  After that she sat and stared at the phone waiting for the ring she knew was going to happen.  The first call came at 2:45 but she let the phone ring.  It rang again at 2:55 and again 10 minutes later.  Each time it rang she didn’t answer it.  She knew who it was on the other end.  It had been almost 20 minutes now since the last time it rang.

 

She knew she was doing the right thing – she had to be.  There was no doubt in her mind that Sam Beckett was a good man and that he did love her but that was now.  What about in 6 months, a year, 5 years when something or someone else caught his fancy.  He’d abandon her and she’d be left on her own again.  It had happened before.

 

No, it was better to make the break now – to do it on her own terms instead of waiting until he was done with her.  Thinking about it now she wasn’t even wholly sure that she loved him or if it was just the idea of being in love that she loved.

 

She had to get away.  Get as far away as fast as she could from New Mexico and Sam Beckett.  She should call him, let him know why she’d changed her mind.  If she did that right now, though, he’d just try to change her mind and he probably would.  No, then she’d just be hurt later when he was done with her.  Better that he hurt right now.  He’d get over it.  Time would heal.

 

She’d leave right now and go as far as she could.  She’d forget about Sam Beckett, put him out of her mind as if he’d never existed.  She’d done it before.  Sometimes she couldn’t even remember what he looked like it had been so long ago.

 

Her mind made up that she’d leave, Donna grabbed her car keys and purse off of the table and walked out of the room.  She left behind in the room everything and anything that had to do with the wedding.  She didn’t need it and it would just serve as a reminder of how she almost made a terrible mistake.  She was going to make a new life for herself.  Somewhere far away from Sam Beckett and maybe, maybe the next time things would be different.

 

“Thank you for your help.”  Al hung up the phone and turned to face Sam who was staring at him expectantly.  Al had called the front desk of the hotel Donna was staying at to see if they could shed light on the missing woman.  Sam wasn’t going to like what the front desk had told him.

 

“So, did they know where she was?  Did they say when she left?”

 

“Sam…ah, hell, this isn’t going to be easy.  The front desk told me that Donna had them cancel the car that was supposed to take her here but that she didn’t want anyone to know.  She checked out about 15 minutes ago and told them it didn’t matter if anyone knew anymore”

 

Sam sank down into the chair behind him.  “Did she tell them where she was going?”

 

“No, she didn’t, Sam.  When they checked the room, well, she left all her stuff behind.  Just took her purse and her car keys and left.”

 

Sam didn’t get a chance to respond to Al before Fr. Sanchez walked into the room.  “I’m terribly sorry, Sam, I have to make several sick calls so I have to lock up the chapel now.  If there’s anything you need, though, please, let me know.”

 

“I understand, Father.  We’ll leave now.  I’m sorry we wasted your time like this.  I’m…I’m sorry.”  Sam rose abruptly from where he was sitting and nearly ran from the room.

 

Al turned to apologize to the priest, “I’m sorry about that, Father.”

 

“It’s quite understandable, Admiral.  They say that time heals all wounds but I’m sure that probably sounds like a cruel joke to Sam right now.”  The priest looked Al squarely in the eyes, “Close friends can also help to heal wounded souls, Admiral.  Sam’s going to need all the friends he can get right now.”  After he’d finished speaking Fr. Sanchez turned and followed Sam out the door.

 

Al stood by himself in the room.  Fr. Sanchez was the second person to charge him with looking after Sam’s wellbeing in less than an hour’s time.  Trouble was, Al didn’t know what he could do for Sam.  He’d never been in the position Sam was in right now.  Thinking back to a couple of his marriages, though, he wished he had been.

 

Sending a silent prayer heavenward he turned and also left the room.

 

He found Sam sitting on a step about half way down staring up the road.  Al walked down the stairs until he was standing on the step above the one Sam was sitting on.  When Al’s shadow fell on him, Sam looked back briefly at Al before speaking.

 

“I can’t just leave, Al.  What if she gets up the road and realizes she’s making a mistake?  What if she changes her mind and comes but no one’s here – I’m not here?  I have to wait for her, Al.  I have to.”  Once he’d said his peace he turned back and stared intently up the road – the road that was deserted except for Fr. Sanchez’s car driving away from the chapel.  The only other car in sight was Al’s car parked in front of the chapel.

 

Al also stared up the road watching the priest’s car disappear over the horizon.  “How long you gonna wait, Sam?”

 

“As long as I have to, Al.”

 

Al sighed and sank down to sit on the step beside Sam.  He looked up at the crystal blue sky and swore that it was mocking them.  A day like today should have been gray and rainy.  It shouldn’t be this beautiful outside.

 

After they’d been sitting on the step for about 15 minutes Al tried to encourage Sam to get in the car and let him take him home.  Sam was adamant that he’d remain.

 

It was a hot day and the sun was beating down on them.  Al stripped off his tux and pulled the tie loose but that offered no relief.  He finally stood up and told Sam he was going to go sit in the air conditioned car for a little while to cool off.  He wasn’t sure that Sam even heard him.

 

Al got in the car and started it up turning the air conditioner up to high.  He fumbled around in the back seat until he found a bottle of water.  One did not drive across the dessert – especially in the hot summer – without having water in the car.  Uncapping the bottle Al took a swig grimacing at the taste of the warm liquid.  Still, it was better than nothing.

 

He looked over to Sam sitting forlornly on the steps of the chapel looking up the road.  Al had managed to persuade Sam to take off the tux jacket as well as his tie and his shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.  Sitting in the full sun like he was, Al knew the kid was going to be in a world of hurt soon.  He turned off the car and grabbing another bottle of water and a bottle of sunscreen from the back seat he went back over to Sam.

 

When he reached Sam he uncapped the water bottle and handed it to him.  Sam either didn’t notice Al standing over him or he was refusing to look at him.  Al didn’t care which it was, he just wanted to make sure that Sam was drinking water if he was going to sit out in the hot sun.

 

“Hey, Sam, here.  Drink up,” he said while pressing the bottle of water into Sam’s hand.  Sam still didn’t acknowledge Al’s return though he did drink deeply from the bottle draining half of its contents.

 

Once Sam had drunk some of the water Al tried to persuade him to put the sunscreen on his exposed skin.  Sam’s face and arms were already starting to take on a pink tinge in just the short time he’d been sitting on the steps and Al knew that would only get worse the longer he was there.  Sam just pushed the bottle away and wouldn’t take it.  Not in the mood to argue with him Al opened the bottle and poured some of the contents into his hand and reached over to put it on Sam himself.

 

Sam finally showed some acknowledgement of Al pushing him away and telling him to leave him alone.

 

“Can’t do that, Sam.  If you don’t put some of this on you’re gonna end up looking like a cooked lobster.”

 

Sam didn’t bother to look up at Al when he replied.  “I don’t care.  I’m fine the way I am.  If you’ve got to hang around and wait with me then go wait in the car.”

 

“Sam, come on, you just can’t keep sitting here like this.  What, are you trying for sunstroke or something.  Just get in the car and let me take you home.  She’s not coming, Sam.  I know it’s hard but she’s just not coming.”

 

Anger tinged Sam’s voice when he answered.  “Don’t say that.  You don’t know that she’s not going to change her mind and come.  If she does I have to be here.  Just go and leave me alone.”

 

“I’m not going to leave you alone, Sam.  I’m going to go wait in the car.  When you come to your senses I’ll be waiting for you.”  Al slammed the bottle of sunscreen down on the step next to Sam hoping he’d use it before going back to the car and getting into it.  He started it up again and turned the air conditioner on full blast.

 

Sam was at his most stubborn right now and Al knew he’d have to wait until Sam got it out of his system before he’d be able to coax him into the car and going home.

 

Another hour passed with Sam sitting on the steps and Al in car.  Sam never bothered with the sunscreen so his skin had now taken on a decidedly red shade.  Luckily the sun had moved in the sky and wasn’t beating right down on him anymore.  It was still pretty hot out though.  Al had been glad to see that despite ignoring the sunscreen Sam did keep drinking from the bottle of water.  When the bottle he had had been emptied Al had wordlessly gotten out of the car and brought him another one.

 

After another hour and another bottle of water had passed Al determined that it had been enough.  Donna wasn’t going to come and it was time for Sam to give up the wait.  Frankly, Al wasn’t overly surprised that Donna had ducked out on Sam.  Sam wasn’t the first man that she’d left at the altar.

 

He’d watched Sam grow closer and closer to Donna until he’d finally asked her to marry him.  As much as Donna had seemed to be in love with Sam it seemed to Al that the idea of marriage wasn’t something she was too keen on.  Over the last week leading up to the wedding she seemed to have distanced herself more and more from Sam but Sam either didn’t want to or couldn’t see it.  Al had seen it and had hoped that today wouldn’t end the way it had.

 

The sky was starting to turn vivid pinks and reds and oranges and the temperature was finally starting to dip down out of the unbearable range as the sun got closer to the horizon.  Al got out of the car once more and walked over to Sam.  This time he was determined to convince Sam to give up the wait and to let him drive him home.

 

When he reached the stairs he sat down next to Sam.  “She’s not gonna come, you know.”

 

Sam never took his eyes off the road but he did answer Al.  “I know.  I just don’t know what to do now.”

 

Al rested his hand on Sam’s back.  His shirt was sticky with sweat and was plastered to his body.  His hair was also sweat soaked and beads of perspiration rolled down his face.  Al would have bet it was probably tears as well.  Sam’s face and arms below his shirt sleeves had taken on a decidedly red glow from sunburn although Al was pretty sure he wasn’t feeling it right now.  It was probably going to hurt him like a son of a bitch tomorrow, though.

 

Al was quiet for a moment before he answered Sam.  “Well, right now how about you let me drive you home.  Get a good night’s sleep and I bet it’ll look better in the morning.”

 

“Yeah, ok,” Sam agreed although the look in his eyes said that it would be anything but better in the morning.

 

Wordlessly Al helped him up from the step and walked with him over to the car opening the passenger door for him.

 

Before getting in the car Sam looked back at Al with a single word on his lips, “Thanks.”

 

The drive from the chapel to the house on the outskirts of town that Sam had rented was made in silence.  As Al pulled into the driveway he saw a face in the window peering through the curtains and guessed it was probably Thelma.  He hadn’t finished parking the car when the door opened and she burst out of it calling for Sam.

 

When he heard his mother’s voice, Sam’s head jerked up and he looked in her direction instead of down at his hands in his lap as he’d been doing nearly the whole drive home.  If it were at all possible, it almost seemed to Al that Sam shrank in on himself just a little more.

 

Quickly turning off the car and getting out, Al intercepted Thelma before she got to the car.  “Mrs. Beckett, why don’t you go on into the house and I’ll be right in with Sam.  Maybe you could get him some lemonade or something to drink.”  Al felt that if he gave her something to do for Sam she’d be more willing to wait for them in the house instead of greeting Sam at the car.  After a moment of indecisive hesitation Thelma nodded to Al and went back into the house.

 

Al turned back to the car.  Sam hadn’t moved yet and seemed reluctant to get out of the car.  Great, Al thought, it took me two hours to convince him to get in the car now I gotta do it all again to get him out.

 

Al walked back over to the car and pulled the passenger door open.  Not giving Sam a chance to protest he reached in and grabbed him by the upper arm and urged him to get out of the car.  “C’mon, Sam, your Mom’s waiting for you inside and she’s getting worried about you.”  Al was careful to make sure he touched Sam only above his rolled up shirt sleeves.  From the way that Sam was starting to hold his arms rather stiffly Al surmised that he was starting to feel the effects of the sunburn.

 

Sam slowly got out of the car and followed Al into the house.  Thelma met them at the door and pulled Sam into a hug.  Sam leaned gratefully into the embrace for a few seconds before pulling away from Thelma.  Al saw the hurt look on her face but by the time Sam could see her face she’d composed it into one of love and sympathy.

 

“Sorry, Mom.  I’m all sweaty and gross.  Let me go take a shower and change and I’ll be right back out.  I promise.”

 

“Ok, Honey.  When you’re all done I’ll have some nice cold lemonade for you,” Thelma replied with a cheery smile.

 

“Thanks, Mom,” Sam replied with a ghost of smile before disappearing in the direction of his bedroom.

 

As soon as he was out of sight the smiled melted from Thelma’s face replaced with a look of concern.  “What happened to him,” she demanded of Al.  “What happened to his face?”  She hadn’t missed the sunburn –not that it would have been hard to miss.

 

Al was tired.  It had been a long afternoon and he had a feeling it was going to be a long night, too.  He wasn’t in the mood to sugarcoat anything for anyone.  “He decided to spend a couple of hours out in the sun waiting for Donna to show up and got a sunburn for his troubles.”

 

“You promised to take care of him for me.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am, I did,” Al replied somewhat heatedly.  “If I didn’t he’d have more problems than just sunburn – maybe heat stroke or dehydration.”

 

Thelma had taken a step back from Al in response to his sharply spoken words.  When he saw that Al softened his voice.  “I’m sorry but you should know how stubborn he can be.  It was all I could do to make sure he was drinking water sitting out there forget about getting him to come home or just put on sunscreen.  Your son could give stubborn lessons to a mule.”

 

“I’m sorry, Admiral.  I know how stubborn Sam can be.  I’m just so worried about him.”  Thelma walked into the kitchen and Al followed behind her watching as she started to bustle around the kitchen doing what he couldn’t imagine.

 

“Sam’s always been so sensitive – ever since he was little.”  She stopped what she was doing and looked over to Al, a small smile on her face.  “Katie may be my youngest but Sam’s always been my baby.  He’s always been so quiet and shy – the complete opposite of his brother and sister.  He bottles things up when he’s hurting – tries to hide it from me.  He thinks it’s so that I won’t worry about him but I still do – sometimes more because he won’t tell me what’s wrong.”  The smile faded away as she returned to what she’d been doing.  “He really loves Donna, Admiral.  I’m not sure how he’s going to get past this or even if he can.”

 

Al sighed and leaned back against the counter.  It seemed he’d spent a good part of the day sighing.  He didn’t know what to say to Thelma to make her feel any better than he knew what to say to Sam.  He had a feeling she’d see right through any platitudes he may offer her.

 

“Where’s Katie,” Al finally asked.  He hadn’t seen her since he and Sam had gotten into the house.

 

Thelma recognized the avoidance for what it was but didn’t call Al on it.  “She drove back to the hotel to check us out and to bring our suitcases here.  She should be along soon.”

 

Once Sam was safely behind the closed door of his bedroom he let out the breath he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding.  He knew his mother was worried about him and that it had hurt her when he’d pulled away from her.  He was afraid that she’d follow him into his bedroom and was relieved that she hadn’t.  He needed to have some time to himself before he faced her – or anyone else.

 

He went into the master bath just off his bedroom and began to strip out of his sweaty clothes.  The rental company was not going to be happy when they saw the state his tux was in but he frankly didn’t care.

 

He stepped into the shower and started the water running gasping in pain when it first hit the burnt skin on his face and arms.  He should have listened to Al when he wanted him to put on the sunscreen but at that time he just didn’t care.  Heck, maybe he even deserved it.

 

He made short work of his shower before getting out and drying off.  He was careful not to rub the towel over his arms and face.  Once he was dry he went into the bedroom and pulled out clothes to put on.  Once dressed an in t-shirt and jeans he walked over to the closed door.  He took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping out.  For his Mom’s sake he had to pretend that he wasn’t as hurt as he was.

 

He was just walking past the living room window when he noticed a car pulling into the driveway.  For just a moment he thought that maybe it was Donna coming back.  The hope was quickly dashed when he recognized the vehicle as his own jeep.  Since he hadn’t seen Katie since getting home he assumed that she’d borrowed it for some reason.  He saw through the window that she was pulling his mom’s and her suitcases out from the back and rushed over to the door to open it for her.  When Katie saw him standing at the door she left the suitcases by the car and hurried over to him reaching up to hug him.

 

“Oh Sam,” she said, “I’m so sorry.  You gonna be ok?”

 

He hugged her back as tightly as his sore arms allowed.  “I’ll be fine Katie.  It’s just gonna take a little time.”  He let her go and stepped back trying to smile for her benefit.  “Here let me help you get those,” he said rushing past her to grab the suitcases.

 

Katie followed him into the house closing the door behind him.  He set the suitcases down on the floor just inside the door before turning to face his sister.

 

Katie gasped when she got a good look at her brother’s face in the light of the living room.  Outside it had been too dark to see redness but she saw it now and it looked like it hurt.  “Sam, what happened to you?”

 

“Huh?  Oh, the burn.  I should’ve listened to Al and not sat out in the sun without some kind of protection.”

 

“Doesn’t that hurt,” she asked reaching to but not quite touching his face.

 

Sam shied back away from her touch.  “It’s not too bad,” he lied.  Actually now that he’d showered and she’d called attention to it he noticed that it was really starting to hurt.  It was his own fault, though, just like Donna was.

 

“Mom’s in the kitchen with Al.  You should probably let her know your back.”  Before the words were completely out of his mouth he heard his mother and Al coming in from the kitchen.

 

“I thought I’d heard your voice, Katie.  Is everything all set at the hotel?” Thelma asked.

 

“It’s all set, Mom.  I’ve got us all checked out and brought everything here.”  Katie turned to face her brother, “I hope you don’t mind us staying here, Sam.  Mom figured you might want the company so….”

 

“No,” Sam assured her.  “Mom, you can take my room and Katie you can have the spare room and I’ll crash out here on the couch.”

 

“You’ll do no such thing, Sam.”  Thelma said.  Your sister and I will be fine in the spare room and you’ll sleep in your own bed tonight.  No arguments.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am,” was Sam’s meek reply.  He never could win arguments with his mother and didn’t feel like trying to change that today.

 

“Now, I just finished putting some dinner together for you, Sam.  I want you to go in the kitchen and eat.”

 

Sam opened his mouth to protest and say he wasn’t hungry but Thelma beat him to it.

 

“Don’t you dare say you’re not hungry.  I know you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast and you probably didn’t eat much then anyways so just go on in there and sit down.  You too, Admiral.  I doubt you’ve eaten any more than my son has today.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am,” Al replied meekly following Sam into the kitchen.

 

Thelma had put together a simple but delicious meal.  Al honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d had food as good.  They’d all sat around the kitchen table eating and making small talk and pretending that nothing wrong had happened that day and that it was a day like any other.  The fact that Sam had been left at the altar was just the big pink elephant in the room that no one was acknowledging.

 

Before they’d started to eat Thelma had insisted on putting some of the aloe gel she’d found in the fridge on Sam’s sunburns.  It must have numbed the pain somewhat although he did seem to still be moving stiffly.  Al didn’t envy Sam when he tried to sleep that night – if the kid was even able to sleep.

 

They’d just finished eating and were beginning to clear the table when the phone rang.  Al saw that Sam had his hands filled with dishes and offered to answer the phone.  He went into the living room and picked up the phone on the desk.

 

“Hello.”

 

There was no answer on the other end so Al tried saying hello again.  Still, there was no answer although he could hear someone breathing.  He was just getting ready to hang up the phone when he heard a small, tear-filled voice.

 

“Al?  Is that you?”

 

Even tear-filled Al recognized the voice.  It was Donna.

 

“Yeah, it’s Al.  Look, Donna, let me get Sam for you.  He wants to talk to you.”

 

“No,” came the anxious reply.  “I can’t…don’t want to talk to him.”

 

“Look, Donna, you owe it to him to tell him why you weren’t there today.”

 

“I know Al but I can’t.  Look, just tell Sam…tell Sam I’m sorry.  It wouldn’t have worked out and we’d both be hurt.  It’s better this way.  I should never have called.”

 

Al hadn’t heard Sam walk up behind him and was startled when Sam snatched the phone from his ear.  Al hoped that Donna would talk to him.

 

“Donna?” Sam said into the phone.  “Please talk to me.  Donna?  Donna?”

 

His eyes filling with tears Sam gently place the phone back into the cradle.  “She wouldn’t talk to me.  She hung up.  What did I do to her?”  The last was said so softly Al had to strain to make out the words.

 

“Aw Sam, you didn’t do anything.  It’s not your fault,” Al tried to reassure him.

 

“It’s got to be,” Sam said.  “There’s no other reason why she’d leave.”

 

Al didn’t know what words he could say to Sam to make him understand that it wasn’t his fault that Donna hadn’t been there.  That the fault was with her and that Sam was just the victim that was left behind in her wake.

 

Before Al could say anything else Thelma bustled in from kitchen unaware of who had been on the phone but she could sense that something had happened by the way Sam and Al were staring at each other.  “Sam, Honey, who was that on the phone?”

 

Sam didn’t respond to his mother. He just turned quickly and ran into his bedroom.  Thelma followed behind him and stopped just short of the door that was slammed in her face.  Confused over what had happened she looked to Al to clarify it for her.

 

“It was Donna,” was Al’s simple reply as he walked over to sit slouched on the couch.  “As soon as Sam got on the phone she hung up on him.  She wouldn’t talk to him.”

 

Thelma sat beside Al.  “Did she say anything to you about why she left?”

 

“Just that she thought it would have been a mistake to go through with the wedding.  No real reason why, though.”

 

Katie who had been watching silently from the kitchen door came into the living room and sat in the armchair near the couch.  “Maybe it’s for the best,” she offered.  “I mean, if she ran out before they were even married, maybe it wouldn’t have worked out anyway so it’s good that it happened now.”

 

“You’re probably right, Katie,” Al agreed, “but try telling that to your brother right now.  I don’t think he’s going to listen to any of us right now.  He’s blaming himself for her leaving and I don’t think anything any of us say is going to get through to him.”

 

All three of them looked over to the door to Sam’s bedroom when it suddenly opened and he came out.  Without saying a word to any of them or even acknowledging their presence he went into the kitchen and rummaged in a cabinet before going back to his bedroom with a bottle and glass in his hand and slamming the door shut again.

 

Al knew that had to be a bad sign.  Sam wasn’t one to drink by nature so it was cause for worry if he was closing himself off in his bedroom with a bottle of booze.

 

Al got up and went over to the door and tried it but it was locked.  He knocked gently on the door calling out Sam’s name.

 

“Go away,” was the despondent reply.

 

Al tried again but didn’t even get an answer this time.

 

Worried, Thelma had joined him at the door and she tried calling out to Sam.  “Honey, it’s Mom.  Open the door and let’s talk.”  Silence greeted her request.  “Sam, please open the door.”  The stubborn silence continued.

 

“He gets it from his father, you know,” she said turning to Al.

 

Al was caught off-guard by her comment and asked her to clarify.

 

“His stubbornness.  He gets that from his father.  John Beckett had to be the most stubborn man I ever knew.  When he set his mind to something there was no changing it.  Sam’s just like him.”

 

If it weren’t for the seriousness of the situation Al probably would have burst out laughing.  Thelma saying that Sam got his stubbornness from his father was bit like the pot calling the kettle black.  Al didn’t think this was quite the time to point that out to her, though, and instead agreed with her.  “Yes Ma’am.”

 

“Now what do we do,” Thelma asked.

 

“Maybe we should just leave him alone,” Katie offered from across the room.

 

Al and Thelma both looked across to her like she’d gone crazy.

 

“Maybe he just needs some time to be by himself.  We’ve all been trying to make small talk and make off like nothing happened today but we haven’t really given Sam any time to process what’s happened.  If we give him enough time he’ll come out on his own.”

 

Before either of them had a chance to answer the sound of something smashing against the wall came from bedroom.  Both Al and Thelma redoubled their efforts to get Sam to open the door.  When they heard the sound of breaking glass Al gestured for Thelma to back away from the door.  The lock wasn’t very strong and one hit with his shoulder to the door was enough to pop it open.

 

Sam wasn’t anywhere to be seen in the bedroom.  Al stepped over the remains of the bottle of scotch and made his way into the master bath.  Sam was leaning heavily on the sink and the sound of breaking glass they’d heard was his right fist going through the mirror over the sink.  Sam seemed to be mesmerized by the series of cuts that crisscrossed the side of his hand and the blood that was dripping from them.  He didn’t appear to even notice that the bedroom door had been broken or that Al and his mother were crowding into the bathroom.  He just kept staring at the blood on his hand.

 

“Geez, Sam,” Al said seeing the damage that Sam had inflicted on himself.  He grabbed a towel off the rack near the shower and wrapped it around Sam’s hand pressing hard and forcing him to sit on the closed toilet.  The pain from the pressure Al was exerting on Sam’s hand must have been enough to jar him back to reality since he finally looked up and seemed to see Al and Thelma.  He put his left hand out to his mother and called out to her, “Mama”, something he hadn’t called her since he was a young boy.

 

Thelma wrapped her son in an embrace and he buried his head in her shoulder.  She proceeded to stroke her hand through his hair while whispering wordless reassurances to him.

 

Al took advantage of Sam’s distracted state to unwrap the towel from around his hand and inspect the damage.  None of the cuts looked very deep and there didn’t appear to be any glass in any of them.  He rewrapped the towel around his hand and spying Katie in the doorway to the bathroom waved her over to hold the towel there while he went into the kitchen to get the first aid kit that Sam kept there.

 

When he returned to the bathroom Sam was still in his mother’s embrace and although Katie was holding the towel in place on Sam’s hand she was rubbing his back with her other hand.  He put the first aid kit down on the counter and rummaged inside for some antiseptic, gauze pads, tape and the antibiotic cream.

 

Moving back over to Sam he gently nudged Katie aside and unwrapped the towel again.  “Sam, this is probably going to hurt,” he said before he began to clean the cuts out with the antiseptic.  Sam flinched when it first touched him but was quiet after that.

 

Once Al was sure the cuts were clean and there was no glass he spread some of the antibiotic cream over them before covering them with the gauze.  By the time Al was done taping the gauze into place Sam had pulled back from his mother.

 

He wiped his eyes with the back of his left hand wincing at the feel on his sunburned skin.  His voice was pitched low as he asked, “Why’d she leave?  What did I do?  Why couldn’t she love me?”

 

“Oh Sammy,” Thelma said as he leaned down kissing him on top of the head.  Her heart was breaking right along with her son’s.

 

“It wasn’t anything you did or didn’t do, Sam,” Al reassured him.  “She would have walked out no matter who it was she was marrying.  She’s afraid of getting hurt so it’s easier for her to walk away and do the hurting before anyone can do it to her.  You gotta trust me, Sam.  It wasn’t your fault at all.”

 

“Listen to him, Sam,” Thelma added.  “He knows what he’s talking about.  You’re such a good person, such a wonderful person.  Trust me, Honey, it wasn’t anything you did.  I just wish I could take this hurt away from you.”  She knelt down in front of Sam now bringing herself nearly eye level with him.  She gently cupped his face in her hands and forced him to meet her eyes.  “I know it’s hurting so bad right now, Sam.  You probably don’t think you’ll be able to go on living without her.  That’s how I felt when your father died – like I’d lost a part of me.  I know it’s not quite the same.  Donna didn’t die, but she did leave you.  Trust me, Honey, time will heal and it will stop hurting.  Until then, though, I’m gonna be right here for you and so isn’t your sister and Al.”  She glanced over at Al smiling.  “He’s a good friend, Honey.  You’re lucky to have him.”

 

Sam looked up at Al, too.  “Yeah, Mom, I am lucky.”

 

It hadn’t escaped Al’s notice that this was the first time that Sam’s mother had referred to him by name and not as “Admiral” but he wasn’t going to call her attention to it.

 

Al was still crouched in front of Sam and placed a hand on his shoulder.  “I’m the lucky one, Kid.  You’ve helped me out of my fair share of jams.  I wish I didn’t have to return the favor under these circumstances but I’m gonna be her for ya.”

 

“We all are, Sam,” Katie offered from the doorway where she once again stood.

 

Sam’s attempt to answer her was cut off by a yawn that nearly split his face in two.

 

Seeing the yawn brought out all of Thelma’s maternal instincts and she started to usher everyone from the bathroom.  “What you need to do right now, Sam, is to go to bed and get a good night’s rest.  You probably didn’t sleep much last night and today’s been a long day.  I’m sure things will start to look better in the morning.”

 

She gently took him by the arm and walked him out of the bathroom and over to his bed sitting him down on the edge of it.  Katie walked over to him and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.  “Good night, Big Brother.  I’ll see you in the morning,” she said before walking out of the room.

 

Al bent down to clean up the mess on the floor from the scotch bottle while Thelma encouraged Sam to strip out of his clothes and get under the blankets.  When Al got up from picking up the broken glass he noticed that Sam was almost asleep.  He walked over to the bed and rested a hand on a blanket covered shoulder.  “If you need anything tonight I’m gonna be out on the sofa, you just call out, you hear.”

 

“Yeah, Al,” Sam murmured and he got closer and closer to sleep.  “Thanks.”

 

“Anytime, Kid.  Anytime.”

 

Thelma was sitting beside Sam on the bed and Al impulsively leaned down and wrapped her in a hug before kissing the top of her head and then walking out of the room closing the door softly behind him.

 

Thelma sat with Sam for a while wanting to keep him company until he fell into a deep sleep.  A deep sleep, though seemed to be eluding him.  Every time he’d roll over onto his side his face would make contact with the pillow and it would jerk him awake.

 

Finally after the 3^rd time that had happened Thelma got up to go into the kitchen to get the bottle of aloe gel that she’d put back into the refrigerator earlier as well as a bottle of water.

 

As she walked back through the living room Al stopped her and asked her if Sam were sleeping.

 

“He’s trying but the sunburn’s bothering him,” she replied.  “Every time he tries to get comfortable his face hits the pillow and it wakes him up.  I was going to try putting more of this on him and getting him to take some Tylenol and see if that will help him get to sleep.  Lord knows that’s probably the best thing for him right now.”

 

“Well, if you need anything you just let me know.”

 

Thelma looked around and noticed that Katie was missing from the room.  “Where’s Katie?  Did she go out again?”

 

“Hmmm…no,” Al replied.  “She said she was tired so she headed off to bed.”  The last part of what Al had said had been nearly been swallowed by yawn.

 

“It looks like she’s not the only one who’s tired, Admiral.”

 

“You know, I liked it better when you called me ‘Al’, Mrs. Beckett.”

 

“Well then, Al, it looks like you should be heading to bed.  I’m going to sit with Sam for awhile and keep him company.  I’ll let you know if we need anything.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am,” he replied as she disappeared back into Sam’s bedroom.

 

She put the two bottles on the bedside table and went into the bathroom to look for some Tylenol in the medicine cabinet.  She had to pick through the remains of the broken mirror to get the bottle.

 

She walked into the bedroom just as Sam once again rolled over onto his side.  Once his face rubbed against the pillow he made a soft grunt of pain and rolled back over onto his back.

 

She shook two pills out of the bottle before sitting down next to him on the bed.  Gently she reached out shook one shoulder while softly calling his name.

 

Sam opened his eyes and blinked the sleep out of them.  “Mom?” he asked.

 

“It’s Mom, Sam.  Can you sit up for me and take these?” she asked him while handing him the Tylenol.

 

Sam looked at the two white tablets that he was holding in his hand dumbly.  As tired as he was he just couldn’t get his mental pilot light to light.  Thelma had to again encourage him to swallow the two pills.  Once he got them in his mouth she handed him the uncapped bottle of water and encouraged him to drink it.  Once he’d downed the pills and the water she helped him to lie back down and reached for the bottle of aloe gel.

 

She opened the bottle pouring some on her hand before reaching over to spread it on his red face.  “I’m just going to put some more of this on you.  It should make you more comfortable so that you can sleep.”

 

“Ok,” he softly replied.  “Thanks.”

 

There was silence in the room for a few minutes as Thelma soothed the gel first on Sam’s face and then his arms and the backs of his hands, careful to avoid the covered cuts.

 

Finally Sam spoke in a soft voice.  “My head hurts.”

 

“I’m sure it does, Honey.  You spent a long time sitting out in that hot sun today and you’ve had a long stressful day.  You just close your eyes and go to sleep and you’ll feel better in the morning.”

 

“Ok,” was his simple response.

 

Thelma had to suppress the chuckle she felt inside.  A genius Sam might be but anytime he was really tired or not feeling well he was always reduced to simple basics.  Apparently tonight was no exception.”

 

By the time she was done soothing the gel onto his reddened skin he’d drifted off to sleep.  She recapped the bottled and went into the bathroom to wash the residue off of her hands.  When she came back into the bedroom she saw that Sam had rolled over onto his side and had started to snore softly.  It seemed the gel had had enough of a numbing affect on him that he was finally able to get comfortable

 

Even though Sam had finally drifted off into a deep sleep Thelma didn’t want to leave him alone just yet.  She pulled the bedroom chair over to the side of the bed and sat down to watch her son sleep.  It wasn’t very long afterwards that she drifted off to sleep herself.

 

Al was awakened the next morning by the sun shining on his face through the living room window and the hand roughly shaking his shoulder.  His eyes snapped open to find Katie leaning over him nearly nose to nose with him.

 

As soon as she saw that his eyes were open she began to speak anxiously.  “Al, do you know where Mom is?  She never came to bed last night.”

 

Al blinked a few times trying to clear his mind before pushing up to sit and answering Katie.  “Last I saw her she was heading into Sam’s room.  I fell asleep out here before she ever came out.  She must still be there.  Did you check?”

 

“Not yet.  I didn’t want to bother Sam if I didn’t have to.”

 

Al pushed himself up off of the couch headed towards Sam’s bedroom.  “I’ll check and see if she’s still in here.  Why don’t you go put some coffee on.”

 

Katie nodded to him before disappearing into the kitchen.  Al quietly pushed open Sam’s bedroom door, making a mental note that he’d have to repair the lock on it that he’d broken the previous night.  He poked his head in the room and saw that Sam was still sleeping in his bed and in the chair next to the bed slept Thelma Beckett.  She was still dressed as she had been the night before so Al reasoned that she hadn’t left her son’s side.

 

The way she was sleeping with her head turned to the side Al figured she’d have a crick in her neck when she woke up.  He walked over to her and gently shook her shoulder careful not to startle her awake.  Despite his care she still startled awake pulling back from Al.

 

“Sorry, Mrs. Beckett.  I didn’t mean to startle you.  Katie was worried because she didn’t know where you were.”

 

Thelma reached up to rub the back of her neck as she answered Al.  “It’s ok, Al.  I must have fallen asleep in here last night.  I didn’t want to leave Sam alone until I was sure he’d sleep the night through - which it looks like he did.”  She took note of the growing light at the edge of the shade covering the window.  “Looks like we both did.  What time is it?”

 

Al quickly looked at the alarm clock Sam kept by his bedside.  “It’s 7:000”

 

“Is it really?  I never sleep this late.  I guess I must have been as tired as Sam was.”  She reached over to brush the hair back from Sam’s forehead.  Despite the talking in the room Sam still slept on.  “At least he slept the night through and that’s probably going to do a world of good for him.”

 

Thelma got up from the chair and started to walk out of the room.  “I should start to get some breakfast made.  You said Katie’s up already?”

 

Al was still standing by the bed looking down at Sam and answered distractedly, “Yeah, she’s in the kitchen making coffee.”  He finally looked back to Thelma, “You don’t need to be cooking breakfast.  I can take care of it.”

 

“Nonsense, Al.  I think we’d all like something edible to eat this morning,” she said with a smile.  “Sam’s told me about some of you culinary delights and I don’t think any of us have a strong enough stomach for that just yet.” With that said she disappeared through the door.

 

Al looked back down at the sleeping man.  “So, you’ve been telling your mother tales about me and my cooking, huh?”

 

The only response he got from Sam was a sleepy mumble.

 

“Rest easy, Kid,” he said before following Thelma out of the room.

 

He walked into the kitchen and was amazed with what he saw.  Thelma Beckett made cooking breakfast look like a finely tuned military operation – and she was the general.  Katie took note of his arrival in the room and warned him off.

 

“If you know what’s good for you, Al, you’ll get while the gettings good before Mom puts you to work polishing silver or something.”

 

“Katherine Beckett don’t you let those eggs burn,” Thelma said without stopping her search through the kitchen drawers looking for what Al couldn’t say.  Finally she stopped looking and turned to face Al.  “I give up, if there’s a spatula anywhere in the kitchen I can’t find it.  Tell me, Al, is there any rhyme or reason to how my son stores anything in this kitchen or does he just haphazardly open the doors and drawers and put stuff anywhere.”

 

“Trust me, Mrs. Beckett, I have yet to figure out how it is that Sam files or stores anything.  I’m sure it all makes sense in that genius noggin of his but the rest of us mere mortals are left to search and search repeatedly.  If you think finding a spatula in here is bad you should try looking for a file in his office.  You’d have better luck finding that proverbial needle in a haystack.  Of course, ask him where anything is and he’ll hand it to you before you finish asking.  I swear he’s got a homing device for everything.”

 

“What did you lose now, Al?” Sam asked coming up behind Al and startling him.  “Good morning, Mom” he continued giving his mother a hug and kiss.

 

“I didn’t lose anything, Smart Aleck, but your mother can’t figure out where anything is in the kitchen.  While you enlighten her, I’m going to go take a shower.”

 

Sam watched Al walk out of the kitchen and laughed softly before turning to his mother.  “So, what were you looking for, Mom?”

 

“I was looking for a spatula but after going through all the drawers it doesn’t look like you have one – or you’ve got it hidden very well.”

 

“It’s not hidden,” Sam said reaching behind his mother to open a cabinet door.  “It’s right here,” he said while pulling the searched-for spatula off of a stack of canned soups.

 

“Sam, do I even want to know why you keep a spatula in with your canned goods?” Thelma asked with a sigh.

 

“I guess it’s just where I stuck it last time I used it,” Sam replied sheepishly.  “There’s no real reason, I guess.”

 

Katie turned from where she was at the stove to throw in her opinion of Sam’s tendancy to put things in strange places but still know where they are.  “I say it’s just some weird game you play.  Stick things anywhere to see if you’ll remember where you put them and the rest of us all have to suffer.  Guess what, Sam, it’s official.  You have a photographic memory and you’re gonna remember where everything is.  You can take pity on the rest of us now so we can stop playing hide and seek.”

 

“I’m not trying to play any games.  It’s just how I put stuff away,” Sam tried to explain.

 

“Uh huh,” was Katie’s unconvinced answer.  “If you’re not playing any games tell me why I could never find any of my dolls when we were growing up but you always seemed to know just where they were put away.”  The impish grin on her face gave away the fact that she was trying to bait her brother.

 

“Hey, it’s not my fault you could never remember where your stuff was.”  Sam was all too willing to take the bait.

 

“Children, children,” Thelma interrupted.  “I swear the two of you may be adults but you still argue like you were kids.”

 

“He started it” “She started it” they both said at once before all three of them broke down laughing.

 

“It’s good to see you laughing, Sam,” Thelma said once she’d gotten her own laughter under control.  It was good to see both of her children laughing.  God knew they’d both seen more than enough misery in their lives so it did her heart good to see them laughing and enjoying themselves.

 

“It feels good to laugh, Mom.  It still hurts but it’ll be ok – in time.”  A bit of the laughter disappeared from Sam’s face as he thought of what had happened the previous day.

 

“Speaking of hurting, Big Brother, how’s the burn?” Katie asked him turning back to the stove and the eggs which were perilously close to burning.  She quickly took them off the heat before their mother could notice.

 

“Don’t remind me about it,” Sam said reaching into a cupboard to get a coffee cup and pouring himself a cup from the pot.  “Remind me that the next time Al tells me to use sunscreen or get out of the sun that I should.  My face feels like someone took a flamethrower to it.”

 

“Maybe you should put more of that gel on it,” Thelma said from where she was mixing something – Sam guessed pancake batter – on the kitchen counter.

 

“I think I’ll pass on that, Mom.  That stuff’s pretty sticky.  If you’d used anymore of it on me last night I’d probably still be stuck to the pillow.  Guess I’ll just have to tough it out.”

 

By the time Al returned to the kitchen from his shower Thelma and Katie had finished cooking breakfast and urged both him and Sam to sit down and eat.  Breakfast was an enjoyable time and Sam was doing his utmost to put Donna out of his mind.  He hadn’t lied when he’d told his mother that it was still hurting but he figured there was no time like the present for him to start to get on with his life.

 

He’d almost managed to completely forget about Donna and the fiasco the wedding had been until after breakfast when he was helping Katie to wash the dishes.  Al came into the kitchen with both his and Sam’s tuxes on hangars and said he’d drive into town to return them to the rental place.

 

Sam couldn’t answer Al.  He just dried his hands off and disappeared out the back door without a word to any of them.

 

Silence fell on the kitchen for a few moments before Thelma said, “It going to take him time to get over it.  I just hope it doesn’t take too long.”

 

“I’ll be back.” was all Al said before going out the front door to his car.

 

Over the next several days Sam spent time with his mother and sister.  He didn’t often find time to spend with them.  His mother had recently moved to Hawaii where Katie was living and it wasn’t always easy to find the time to visit with them.  Sam had yet to find the time to meet Katie’s fiancé, Jim Bonnick, who was stationed at Pearl Harbor.

 

His only regret was the reason why he was able to spend the time with Thelma and Katie.  He was finding that during the day he could almost forget about Donna but at night it was always the hardest so he spent his days trying to get himself so tired he wouldn’t be able to do anything but sleep.

 

He’d taken Mom and Katie to see just about every tourist spot within a couple of hours drive from his home.  When he wasn’t spending time with them, he spent time pouring over formulas and theories.  He might have been forbidden to go back to work at Starbright until the 2 weeks he’d taken off were up but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do work at home.

 

Al came over for dinner every night.  Sam knew that Al was still worrying about him and that’s what brought him over the house so frequently.  He was also pleased to see that his mother had apparently gotten past her initial dislike of Al.  The two of them seemed to be getting along great now.  Sometimes, when they ganged up on him about getting to bed at a decent hour, he thought they were getting along a bit too well.

 

It was just over a week after the day that the wedding should have happened when the letter came.  It had no return address but was postmarked somewhere in Texas.  Sam recognized the writing as soon as he saw the envelope in the pile of mail.  It was Donna’s handwriting.

 

He ripped the envelope open with trembling hands and pulled out the single sheet of paper inside.  Written on it was one simple sentence.  “I’m sorry, Sam – Donna.”  The only other thing in the envelope was the diamond engagement ring that he’d given her.

 

He didn’t say anything to his mother or sister, just took the note and ring and went outside to sit on the low stucco wall and looked out over the desert.

 

He was still sitting there not having moved a couple of hours later when Al came by.

 

Thelma greeted him at the door.  He hadn’t had a chance to say hello before she said, “He got a note from Donna in the mail today and the ring he’d given her.  He’s been sitting outside since then.”

 

“Damn,” Al said.  “This is not good timing since I’ve got more bad news for him.  Where is he?”

 

“Sitting on the wall out back.  He’s been there for a while and won’t talk to me or Katie.”

 

“I’ll try talking to him,” Al said as he went out to Sam.

 

“Hey, Sam,” Al said walking over to him.  “Your Mom said you got a letter from Donna today?”

 

“Yeah, Al, I did,” Sam answered not taking his eyes off the distant horizon.  Al was happy to see that although he’d gone to sit outside again at least this time he had on a baseball hat with the bill pulled low shading his face and the long sleeves on his cotton shirt protected the healing sunburns on his arms.

 

“She say why she walked out on you?”  Al knew it was a blunt question but considering he was only going to make things more miserable for Sam he figured blunt would be better.

 

“Nope, just said she was sorry.  She didn’t even take the time to explain why she walked out.  Just sorry.  Guess that’s supposed to make everything all better.”

 

“Well, Sam, maybe it was too painful for her to explain.”  Al knew he was playing the Devil’s Advocate but if it would make the note any easier for Sam to deal with he was willing to do it.

 

“Maybe.  Or maybe she never really loved me to begin with – just thought she did.  It’s over now, though.  She sent the ring back,” he said as he held up the ring for Al to see.  “I should probably put this somewhere safe or take it back the jewelers or something but you know what?” he stood up on the low wall and pulled his arm back and threw the ring out into the desert, “that’s the past,” he finished sitting on the wall again.

 

A part of Al wanted to question the wisdom of Sam throwing the ring away but he cut off that line of thought.  The kid was going to deal with this the best way he could.  Besides, it was time for Al to drop another load of bad news on him.

 

“I hate to have to tell you this right now, Sam, but you’re going to find out anyway so, no time like the present.  I got a call from the head of the Starbright committee in DC.  They’re closing it down effective immediately with no chance of a reprieve.  They said it’s just not a feasible project anymore.  I’m sorry.”

 

Sam turned on the wall so that he was facing Al.  “Don’t be, Al.  I kind of figured this was coming.  The last report I sent in probably had a lot to do with it.  I…uh…I kind of advised them that the project was going no where,” he said looking at Al from under the hat.

 

“You what?  You didn’t think it would be a good idea to tell me this?  I have to find out the hard way?  What the hell were you thinking, Sam?” Al was angry not that Sam could have been instrumental in the dismantling of Starbright but because he hadn’t told Al about the report.

 

“I didn’t think they’d take me seriously, Al.  They never have before.  If I thought for one second that they would take me seriously I would have told you.  Hell, I didn’t put anything in that report that I haven’t in the last dozen or so reports that I’ve sent or anything that I haven’t told you.  Starbright was good, Al, in theory but that’s it.  We’re no closer to breaking the light barrier today than we were when the project first started.  It’s not fair to keep wasting people’s time and money.  You’ve said so yourself quite a few times.”

 

“Yeah, I know, Sam.  It just would have been nice if you’d told me first.”

 

“I know, Al, and I really am sorry.  I should have said something to you and I don’t know why I didn’t.  Heck, if it weren’t for you I never even would have been part of Starbright.  I’m sorry, I really am.”

 

Al could see that the kid really was sorry.  If he admitted it to himself, Starbright should have ended a while ago.  Sam was right, they’d made no progress on the project since they’d started it and that had been a number of years ago.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Sam.  I know you didn’t do it on purpose.  I guess we’re both going to be looking for a job now?” he said leaning on his arms on the wall next to Sam.

 

“I wanna show you something, Al,” Sam said reaching into his back pocket and pulling out some folded up papers. 

 

At first Al thought it was the note from Donna but he realized that Sam was too excited about whatever it was and there were several sheets of paper folded up.  More than what would be need to just say “sorry”.  Al unfolded the papers and saw that they were covered with a number of formulas all in Sam’s distinctive writing.  What he was looking at, though, wasn’t making much sense to him.

 

“Have I ever told you about my String Theory, Al?”

 

“Your what?”

 

“My string theory.  Well, actually Professor LoNigro helped me with it when I was in M.I.T.  Anyway, the simplified version of it is that everyone’s life is a string with a beginning and an end.  If you tie the two ends of the string together they form a loop.  If you could go fast enough on that loop you could go from the beginning to the end of your life.  Now if you take that same string and ball it up in your fist then all the days of your life would touch each other of sequence and you could go from one day in your life to another.”

 

“Whoah, whoah, wait a minute, Sam.  Hang on a second.  It sounds like you’re talking about time travel.”

 

“Exactly, Al.  That exactly what I’m talking about.  This,” he said indicating the papers that Al held, “is our next project.”

 

“Our next project?  Are you out of your mind, Sam.  No one’s going to buy time travel.”

 

“Sure they will, Al, cause we’re gonna sell it to them.”  Sam was getting more and more excited as he talked more about his theory and time travel.

 

“We?  As in you and me?”

 

“Yeah, you don’t think I can do this alone, do ya?”

 

“Sam, just how do you propose to get the funding this project would need.  You go in front of congressional committee and tell them you want money to explore time travel and you’ll be lucky if they don’t lock you up in the looney bin and throw away the key – forget about getting the money.  I think you’ve been out in the sun too long.

 

“I’m not crazy, Al.  Just think about if you could go back in time and just observe.  Just think you could be on the grassy knoll in Dallas and know if there was one gunman or two.  Just think of all the mysteries that could be solved.  Big historical ones and personal ones.  Anyone would jump on that Al.  It is possible.  We just need to get the funding to get the project underway and then we just need to get the best scientific minds.  Look, he said gesturing to one of the papers, we could use a lot of the office space and lab space that was being used for Starbright.  We’d have to build something pretty big, though, for the Imaging Chamber and the Accelerator but it can be done.  I know it.”

 

Sam’s excitement and passion about his latest theory reminded Al of the first time he’d met Sam.  He hadn’t been so sure that Sam would fit in on the Starbright project but once he’d started talking he had been so passionate it had been infections – just like it was now.

 

“So, what?  Your proposing we get some top scientists and take them out to the desert and build a time travel machine?  I’m still not seeing where this is going to appeal to any committee, Sam.”

 

“Well, the time travel might not at first but this will,” Sam replied as he pulled out the last piece of paper from the pile.  “A parallel, hybrid computer.  A computer that can think on it’s own and grow on its own.  A computer that can continually upgrade itself.  That’s what’ll sell them on, Al.”

 

“A parallel, hybrid computer?  You got this all worked out, don’t you?  If we’re gonna do this we should meet with the committee as soon as possible.  There’s still some funding left over from Starbright and if we can get that directed to this new project…what are you calling this anyway?”

 

“Quantum Leap.  Project Quantum Leap.”

 

“Quantum Leap.  I like that name Sam.  So, if we can get the remaining funding from Starbright directed toward Quantum Leap and entice some other scientists to join us in the desert we should be able to get this thing off the ground in a year.”

 

Neither of them seemed to notice that the sun was setting as the poured over Sam’s formulas and calculations. 

 

Thelma went to the window to check on the two of them.  It had been a while since Al had gone out to talk to Sam and neither of them had come in.  What she saw when she looked out the window was the two of them with their heads bent over a stack of papers.  Sam was talking excitedly and Al seemed to duck his flying hands a couple of times.  Watching the two of them Thelma realized that Sam has found something new to put his energy into.  It didn’t mean he totally forgotten Donna but time was definitely starting to heal the wound.